Thursday, July 24, 2014

The answer is...No

I have been asked a certain question that I have had to use that answer so many times. At family weddings, funerals, get togethers...and the answer has remained the same. K and I don't have children. By choice. I know...with that being said, those of you who have children are probably thinking "oh it's easy for you to say you can have a happy marriage. You don't have kids". I've heard it. Although I may not have experienced the struggles you go through when you have children and what it does to a marriage...I have seen it. I have 5 nephews and 3 nieces and have witnessed what can happen. Please understand I am not saying children bring horror to a marriage or are bad for it. But, I am sure that those of you who are married with kids would agree with me when I say that they change a marriage.  I am not saying good or bad...it just changes the way things were from before.
Let me quickly say I love children. They are the sweetest of blessings. K and I spoil our nieces and nephews rotten and love spending time with them. I also work part time during the school year at a children's day out program with 2 year olds. I really feel like God has wanted me to work with young children and be a good example to them. For the same reason I wanted to do this blog, I feel children need guidance and examples to follow that will help guide them in the right direction. there are so many horrible role models out there!  
I take my role as an example to these little ones very seriously. If they can have sense of normalcy that they don't get at home, I have accomplished something good.
And that is one reason why K I have not had children yet. I feel our attention and devotion would not be as strong if we had our own. I also am not quite ready for the responsibility. I have gotten many looks and words when I have said we are not ready:
"You are never really ready"
The you hate children look
"You have such a clean house...oh wait...you don't have kids"
"Your biological clock is ticking"
"You don't know what you are missing"
And my favorite..."Wait until you have kids, then you will understand"

All valid points. I have never experienced motherhood and I know that is a special bond and something I will never truly understand until I go through it. Maybe one day God will change my heart, but for now I am simply not ready.
I have wondered if waiting to have a baby is what God wants. I don't think he would want us to make a decision if we are not ready and the only thing I could find in the bible is Isaiah 54:1 "Sing O childless woman, you who have never given birth! Break into loud and joyful song, O Jerusalem, you who have never been in labor. For the desolate woman now has more children than the woman who lives with her husband, says the Lord"
It was meant for Jerusalem, but at the time a woman who could not have children was looked down upon and it was shameful. After reading the commentary I understood that we are to praise God no matter what we are struggling through and it is in his hands. And I believe God has given me a job and little ones in my life to influence until he is ready to help us have our own.

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