Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Let's give them something to talk about

My husband said I talk a lot...

We were sitting at the table playing the game "ImaginIFF" and the question was what if I were a form of communication, what would I be? (I as in me being the subject) Email won the round for me; I always did consider myself a better writer than much of a talker. I actually prefer texting over talking. I can get so much more out with writing than with talking. (I have a lot of side thoughts that I can convey into writing that makes more sense than when I talk...struggles of being a  multitasker). Anyway, K chose telephone because he said I talk a lot. I looked at him very skeptically. He defended his response with when he gets home from work, I am at my most chatty. Although I was surprised with his answer I concluded that I have a lot to tell him and by the time he finally gets home, I unload!

Then today I read an article about conversations every couple should have and it sparked some inspiration on this blog post: what do you and your significant other talk about? Do you wish your communication was better? Sometimes we run out of things to say...K and I both have said we are horrible at small talk with other people.

K and I's communication has always been great, since the beginning. He's an amazing listener and apparently I'm a good talker! Here are some topics that I think are great and you should have together...(or just some ideas to get some conversations going)

1) How was your day? : This is an obvious one, but it is so important to talk about each other's day. Ask questions to show your interest. Get them to tell you details. (Don't accept it was work...or it was fine. Does that drive anyone else crazy??)

2) Follow up on something that happened yesterday...is there something that happened the day before that you two forgot to reevaluate?

3) Growing old together- talk about where you see each other years down the road...what you want to do when you retire

4) Favorite T.V. or movie: Do you have a show that you watch together or a movie you recently watched? Make sure to critique it together

5) Traveling: Where would you love to go as a couple? Start dreaming together of your ultimate vacation destination. Make some plans and goals

6) What is something you would love to do or learn but have never tried?

7) What about food? What is something you want to try but never have? Make a date to try it!

8) Sit down and create a bucket list together of all things you want to do together

9) Where are you career wise? Are you doing what you want to? Talk about making goals together and how you can move forward

10) Finances: Make this a team effort. Talk about it often and do the budget together. Ever since we completed Financial Peace University, we have learned how important it is to communicate about finances.

11) Those of us without children...Talk about how you will raise and discipline your kids. I am learning from watching others how important it is to be on the same page about your kids and how you will raise them. Talk about it now!

12) Those with children...what are your dreams for your children? How will you handle the teenage years? What do you hope they will do when they get older?

13) Discuss a controversial topic...Tip:Best way to handle this (debating can be fun and no arguing) each gets a turn to state their opinion with no interruptions.

I hope this sparks some interesting conversations between the two of you! Remember to have fun with it and listen to their response! Until next time, have a good day!

Friday, April 10, 2015

5 Small Ways to Show They Are The Best

I'll be honest...I didn't look at the date Wednesday. I currently have been enjoying my week off of work getting housework done that usually is put on the back burner like dusting, cleaning baseboards, etc (I actually don't mind cleaning. I love our house to be clean and smell fresh. I take pride in it) But I also have been able to enjoy two favorite hobbies...reading and scrapbooking. Anyway...K has been under work pressure and working extra hours, so Wednesday I figured it would be a typical night. He'd come home from work, need a long hug and I would fix supper while he told me about his day. This our usual work week night.

What I didn't expect was these in his hand...

After giving him a hug and a kiss, I gave him a smile and  asked him what were the flowers for? We had celebrated our anniversary; it was done...what else could there have been? He smiled and said..."you said yes." I quickly glanced at the calendar then it hit me...it was 15 years ago that he asked me to be his girlfriend. It made me tear up that he remembered, (we don't celebrate that day anymore like we did when we were dating) after all the stress he's been under and different worries from our day to day life...he thought about doing something so sweet for me. Remember this post?  It really is the little things that count. That meant so much to me.

I have said this before, but I want to share how much doing little things for each other mean to a spouse. Just letting them know that you love them and how much they mean to you can go a long way.Here are some ideas:

1) Slip little post it notes in drawers they go to everyday telling them they are amazing or how much you love them. Stick them in their books, lunch kits, etc. (I do this now a lot)

2) After a stressful day, give them a long hug. Sometimes just a hug and no words says exactly what you feel

3) Thank them for the hard work they do...Taking care of you etc

4) The next time you are sitting on the couch watching T.V...cuddle 

5)Let them fully talk (I have a bad habit of interrupting, because when something comes to mind, I want to say it so I don't forget about it) about their day, ask them questions. Show what they do interests you and you want to know about it.

So my challenge for you today is to do something sweet and unexpected for your spouse. Surprise them and bring a smile to their face 😊. Until next time, have a blessed day!