Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The best marriage advice comes from...

I had every intention to deliver the last part of my money series last week...even started a draft and prayed about where to go with it...and I became stuck. So after reading a great blog post on bible verses for marriage...I decided I would post my favorite and go to bible verses for marriage.

In the post I read, she asked the question what is marriage to you? How do I view marriage? While K and I were dating, a coworker at the grocery store I was working at the time got into a discussion with me about marriage. He asked me why in the world would I want to get married? My response: because I loved K and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Why wouldn't I want to get married? The world's view of marriage is fairy tales or misery. What I have learned so far is that marriage is hard work. I get up each day and thank God for blessing me with a wonderful man that knows how to love me, but also how to treat me. He appreciates me. But, our marriage consists of three people: God, K, and I. I view marriage as a partnership between all three of us. I have an amazing marriage because we trust God. So here are the verses that have meant the most to me in our marriage...

1) 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)) Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand it's own way. It is not irritable, it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

K and I had this verse read at our wedding and is one of my favorite bible verses. This paints a beautiful picture of how love should be between two people who spend their lives together. We choose to love our spouses for the rest of our lives...why not make it as beautiful as the bible teaches?

2) Ephesians 5: 22-23 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the Church; and He is the Savior of the body. (NKJV) 

As I continue my walk with the Lord and I learn more and more about how to be a good wife, I have learned how important this verse is. In my last post I talked about how important it is for the man to be the provider and touched on wives submitting to their husbands. As hard as this is so important to follow this advice. It does not mean we are weak or that we are not equals. Marriage takes teamwork, but we are to submit to our husbands and not withhold from him. 

3)Proverbs 19:22 The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.

In the simplest terms...marriage is a gift from God. The more we view marriage as a gift and the fact that God has blessed us with our spouse, the more we see them as a gift.

4) Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 

I think this verse is so important for a couple. Memorize it. When you are fighting, repeat this verse in your head. It may not always work, but it helps me to stop from saying something I might regret.

5) Proverbs 31: 10-13: Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. (NKJV)

I think this verse speaks for itself on the beautiful picture of how a wife should be. There has only been one perfect person, Jesus, and we are not perfect. But these are great guidelines of how to achieve an amazing marriage. The bible is full of great advice for married couples :)

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Show me the money- Part 3

Before I get into the meat of this post...I wanted to say that K is recovering nicely and has returned to work and seems to be feeling better. We even had a date night last night that was long long overdue.

This post I have been sitting on for awhile because it is very important to me and something that is lost to our society. I know that not everything that works for K and I will work for others, but it is an old concept that has worked. Marriage is the image of God. The wife represents God's sensitive side, while the husband represents the leadership side.

But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of every woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 1Corinthians 11:3 (NLT)

In our marriage, K is our provider. I believe in the traditional role of the husband to be the leader and the head of the house. This is a hard concept and I feel I need to put a bit of a disclaimer...if a woman wants to work, by all means I am all for it. I have a job. However, the husband being the head provider achieves the need wives have for security. Before K and I bought our house, he made sure that his income alone could cover the bills. My income is extra and a blessing. I firmly believe that a marriage is teamwork and a partnership and the husband being the "leader" does not make him better and does not give him permission to be controlling. We as wives have just as much say as he does. But, God does instruct us to submit to our husbands and support him when he makes a decision. It's hard and because of our nature we have a tendency to want to fight and think we are right and it should be done our way. Wives hear me on this...make your voice heard but trust your husband and support him in his decisions for our families. It will save you lots of arguments.

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the Church." Ephesians 5:21-23

If you are blessed like I am that your husband is able to be the provider (I know different situations arise to prevent this like sickness, surgeries, debt, choices etc if you do work full time I am definitely not saying I am better or your way of living is wrong) there should be some shouldering of our responsibilities as wives. For 4 wonderful years, I was able to stay home; however, with the understanding that I took on the role of everything in our house. I kept the house clean, did the laundry, grocery shopping, made sure K had supper when he got home, the works. He didn't have to worry about anything. Not because he expected me to or I had to...but because I appreciate him getting up every morning and making sure we are safe, secure, and provided for. I believe he shouldn't have to come home and worry about those things especially if I am home! This is something we also decided together.
Now that I am working, I still handle a lot of these things because I work part time, but if I am busy and swamped with kid projects or responsibilities, I am not afraid to ask him to shoulder some of the weight. That is why we are a team. If I cook, he cleans the kitchen. If I do the laundry, he helps fold, pick it up, and put the sheets back on the bed. Lean on each other when you have a lot of worries.

I know this post is a harder one to swallow. I am a traditionalist and it's harder in our society to have this belief. But I also think there is something to say that so many marriages fail because of lack of biblical principles, teamwork, and submission.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Still Experiencing Firsts

Sorry for the momentary absence and I will definitely get back to the money series I was doing, but K and I experienced a first together. In our whole 14 1/2 years together, we have experienced a lot of firsts. I was his first girlfriend, first date, first love, pretty much first everything.

This past week we had our first experience with surgery. K had been battling with problems with his stomach. He spent a few weeks going to different doctors and going through different tests before learning he needed his gall bladder out. The only other surgery he had was knee surgery his senior year in high school and we were only friends at the time. He went ahead scheduled the surgery and scheduled his time off from work.

I wasn't really nervous about the surgery, I knew God would take care of him. The scariest part was when I was taken to the back to see him, he had gotten really weak and pale when they put the I.V. in. I learned something new about him...he does not like needles. Not many people included...but it made him so nervous. The surgery went well and we did have to stay overnight, which was a whole new experience in itself.

One of the biggest things I have learned with this experience is how much we need each other. We take care of each other when we are sick, but this has been different. He can't bend or lift so I have been doing everything. And I am saying that with a smile. It's stressful at times...I have him relying on me plus my job is about to start this week so we had certain preparations to make for it, but he needs me. It's an amazing feeling.

The way I deal with pressure is to make sure to embark in sometime to myself. Even if it's only 15 mins. Those of you with children, I know you experience pressure on a daily basis. You not only have the responsibilities as a wife, but you are also a mother, and when your children are sick you have that added to your load. Remember to take a couple mins to breathe. Right now, K is resting, so I am taking advantage of the time to myself and spent sometime with the Lord and I am posting this blog. A little later, I will go to the gym.

So my advice today is no matter what kind of first you experience's a first. Lean on each other because you need one another. Also...when there is added responsibilities and stress, take a few mins to yourself to breathe. For me it's a hot bath, a quick workout, reading a couple pages of a good book. Take advantage of given moments. Until next time...