Thursday, July 16, 2015

It's not a bad word...

I didn't realize how hard this post would be for me. I have been sitting here trying to get it together for about a week now. It's a topic that is very important to me and our marriage. After I read and studied my chapter in Song of Solomon, I felt God was telling me I was ready to talk about it. But, it was finding the words to do it.  It is something that is completely lost to our society and hard for us to follow as wives.

Submission.

The definition of submission from Merriam-Webster: 2) the condition of being submissive, humble, compliant  3) an act of submitting to the authority or control of another

We are taught in today's day and age that submission is a bad word. It is a belief that is long lost and forgotten. But submission is a teaching from the bible; a teaching from God. As wives we are to submit to our husbands as we would to the Lord.

 The Bible's definition of submission: 


When I say submission, there are many ways I submit to K. And let me say that I don't think submitting to your husband means to be a doormat or do whatever he says because he says it. We can and should voice our opinions and be an equal part of the marriage. If it is morally wrong or goes against what you believe, you have a right to go against him. (for example...abuse. I do not condone abuse).

By submitting to my husband, I put my trust in his hands and allow him to make the decisions. Yes, we talk about it and he considers me an equal partner in this marriage. He listens to my opinion on the decision. Sometimes, we argue about whatever the decision might be if we disagree. And believe me, it happens. We are both headstrong. But, ultimately, he makes the final decision and I support him because I put my trust in my Lord and Savior and I submit to Him. He has blessed me beyond words can describe with my marriage and the ability to share it with you, and the least I can do is what he asks. I also do it because I love and trust my husband.

Here are some ways you can practice submission to your husband

1) No husband bashing
I was at a friend's house where we were getting together with other couples. The husbands were in one room and the wives were in another. One friend starting pointing out her husband's faults and mistakes and the other wives quickly chimed in. They even talked about very private details. After listening to the continuous bashing, I sat back and vowed that I would not participate in husband bashing. It made me sad. Our husbands should be able to trust us in the company of others to respect him. Don't get me wrong, I think you should have someone you can go to when there is an issue you can't handle. A reliable mentor you can trust they won't hold what you tell them against your husband. But if something is bothering you about them, the biggest thing is to pray for your husband. Go to God with the issue that is bothering you. Out of respect and love for K, I refrain from airing out his faults and mistakes to others.

2) Supporting the final decision
I touched on this earlier, but it is so important. We were faced with a particularly hard decision not long ago about my car. It is 11 years old and for the most part has been running really well and getting me where I need to go. Last year we had a pretty major repair and then a few weeks ago, the transmission solenoid went out, which is a pretty big repair and would cost quite a bit. We had a big decision to make: whether to get into another note or just repair it and not have to worry about a note. We talked about it and prayed about it, and in the end I supported his decision to keep my car and fix it. That's just one example of the many decisions we have had to make as a couple.
It's not always easy; there are times when I wonder if he is making the right decision. But, I trust him and know he wants the best for us.

3)Pray for him
I try to go to God for everything. I used to pray about K a lot, but now I pray for him before I pray about him. I pray about his role as a husband, his growth as a Christian, his job, everything. I trust God to take care of K and he always does.

4) No punishing
After 7 years of marriage, I am learning how important it is to my marriage to be intimate. I am not just talking about making love, but also connecting on an emotional level. I am also learning how important it is to make love with my husband. It is how they know everything is ok, and we can show them how much we love them. It is one of the reasons God created sex. I know women who withhold and punish their husbands by not having sex with them. This makes me very sad.



I know there are times that we are beyond tired, so much going on, work, children, taking care of our house, or even not feeling it, but our greatest and most powerful tool is our minds. If we set our mind to love our husband, we can.

Please don't think that I am attacking wives or that there aren't hard situations out there. I know there are situations that would make my head spin. I am praying for you. I just want to offer some insight into what can make a marriage happy. Our marriages and husbands are worth it.

Until next time...have a great day!

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