I used to not like listening to sermons. Don't get me wrong, I love going to church and I love our pastor. But I never used to like sitting and listening to a sermon from someone else. I viewed it like I view audio books...I didn't want to listen; I am a reader. But then I discovered Right Now Media thanks to my church. It is the Netflix for bible studies and I have completely fallen in love with it. Right now I am doing a study on changing the mind. It deals with issues like worry, anxiety, fear, and how trusting God and changing your mind can battle these issues.
I have been struggling with anxiety and fear and today I finally realized why. I have not been happy with some circumstances that K and I have been experiencing. I haven't been satisfied with some outcomes and I have not been trusting God to change my way of thinking. I have been asking God to help me through this trial, but I haven't been allowing Him to change my mind. I have been wallowing in self-pity and discomfort and this is not the way I want to live. I have absolutely no reason to give in to this way of thinking. God is my salvation and I am blessed beyond belief. I am learning that He doesn't expect us to think that life and marriage will always be peaches and cream by following Him, but I will still praise Him in the hard times. That because of Him, I can get through this. The devil will take us at our most vulnerable state and attack us with fear and worry and anxiety if we let him and I refuse to allow this continue to sit with me. I used to think that the devil had no power over me. I know that everything comes down to choice, but I would roll my eyes on the inside when someone would say something about the devil being the enemy. But he is real and will attack especially if you are living for God. I have learned a very important lesson today: happiness is a choice. I can choose to be happy with what I have been blessed with or I can choose to be miserable and seriously, what fun is that?
Some people go through some really hard situations. Bad things happen to good people and sometimes it's completely out of our control. What we can control is how we react to the situation we are given. My faith in God and his ability to help me in this struggle is what will get me through tough times.
I hope this random stream of consciousness made sense because I had to share it without going into a lot of detail. Just know that whoever you are reading this, you are loved and I am praying for you.
My life verse that I will commit to memory Phil 4: 6-8:
Thanks for reading! Until next time, have a great day!