It starts out as something small:
The garbage not being taken out,
the mail piling up on the corner of the counter,
or not filling the sponge wand with dish detergent after he uses it.
I try my hardest not to nag him...so I let these things "slide". What I really do is let them fester inside and they come to a boiling point...
And this is what happened over the weekend: The pot boiled over.
I was dealing with stress from several different areas of life in general and lately we seemed to be nit-picking each other. ALOT. I was getting aggravated with him over such little things. And the pot completely over boiled because I didn't let him know what was bothering me from the beginning. After a long talk and a melt-down on my part, I wanted to do something different than focusing on the things that he did that bothered me. We were better than that. We were letting the stress of life get to us and I didn't like it one bit.
I started a new video bible study series this morning:
This is one I missed at our church because I had a choice between this and Revelation and I felt God was pulling me to study Revelation. I was really happy when I realized Right Now Media had this series and I could watch it on my own. It was perfect timing (as God is always teaching me) with what happened this past weekend.
This series starts by studying Ephesians 5:21-31
I have done several posts about this verse before. And I promise, I am not trying to "beat a dead horse". I know how controversial and difficult this topic is. But I am going to use a phrase my pastor loves to use...Don't take it up with me...take it up with God. I'm just quoting the word. One thing Jimmy Evans (the teacher of this series) stated that I loved was that submission does not mean dominance. We are equal partners in this marriage. We are not the boss of each other: the boss of our home is Jesus Christ.
So here are a few things that resonated with me in this study this morning...
- The #1 Need of a Man is: HONOR
- The #1 Need of a Woman is: SECURITY
- Intimacy is the PRIZE of marriage
- God's Role for Men in Marriage: Nourish and cherish their wives...bring your wife to her full potential
- God's Role for Women in Marriage: Honor Your Husband...be your Husband's cheerleader
Isn't this powerful?? All of these points can be talked about for hours, but #5 really spoke to me. Something that Jimmy Evans said spoke volumes to me: Don't let the devil focus you on what your husband is doing wrong.
Isn't that exactly what I was doing?? I was completely focused on what K was doing wrong and was missing what he was doing right. I was being selfish and focused on my stress and how swamped I was and what he wasn't doing. So after this lesson I made a challenge for myself.
Each day this week I will praise K for something good he has done.
I want to continue it after, but I think this is a good start to get into the habit of it. I realized how little I praise K for the things he does for us, for himself, for me. This goes beyond just thanking him for what he does. I want to be his biggest cheerleader. I want to encourage him to reach his full potential. God definitely has his way of challenging me!
How often do you praise your spouse? Feel free to join me in this challenge!
Until next time, have a great day!