Thursday, May 26, 2016

The Makings of a Christian Wife Part 1

Things have finally started to slow down over here. For the last month, I have been busy preparing my preschool class and classroom for the end of the year. This includes an end of the year production that the children get to be on stage and perform the two songs they have practiced since the beginning of the year. We had one little boy who knew every motion and word of the songs. We just knew he would be our star; however, we were surprised at just how he became our star. Instead of singing the words and doing the motions, he walked to the end of the stage stayed silent and waved to everyone and smiled the whole time. It was really funny and cute. We learned kids will be kids.
I was reading a very interesting book that inspired this post. Rachel Held Evans, author of A Year of Biblical Womanhood, takes us on a journey of her quest to apply biblical principles to her life as a wife and mother, sometimes quite literally. Much like the children in my preschool, we prepare years for our weddings, but when we enter into the marriage, we stand in shock of what's presented and don't know what to do. Sometimes that's because of lack of instruction from our parents and mentors, and sometimes it's because of lack of attention at what these mentors or parents tried to teach us.
I can't tell you what is the right or wrong way to be a wife. I am learning that each and every wife is different and operates differently. Some wives are domesticated and take care of everything and some husbands rather have this responsibility. Either way it's what works for you and your husband and what God is calling you to do as his wife. Because let's face it, we have a lot of responsibility on our shoulders.
What I can tell you is what I have learned from studying the bible, reading many Christian marriage books, and advice from trusted Christian influences at what works for me. And the wife God has called me to be. This has been a work in progress.
I haven't always been the wife that I am. I have prayed daily from day one to be the kind of wife K needs. By the grace of God, He helps me daily. After reading a passage in the book I mentioned, I felt this overwhelming urge to share some advice to other wives, especially new wives. If I could give advice to new wives this is what I would tell them:
1) Pray for your husband daily and pray for the strengthening of your marriage
2) Build your husband up, try to keep the criticism and nagging to a minimum (I am still working on this one)
3) Remember that you are a team...don't be afraid to ask for his help
4) Don't be afraid to tell him what is on your mind when something bothers you. Do this in a loving and respectful way. (Yep...still working on this one too.)
5) And while we are on the subject...don't assume he knows what you are thinking. Because he doesn't. This was probably the best piece of advice I ever received: they are not mind readers and men think so differently than we do. I learned this the very hard way. So no matter how many times you walk back and forth to the laundry room with arms full of laundry and sigh loudly because he isn't helping...just ask. It will save a lot of aggravation and headache.
6) Say I love you every day...points if it's several times. Especially every time you hang up.
7) Hug and kiss every day. Touch everyday. Keep your connection strong.
8) Laugh a lot. Laugh at each other.
9) And finally, be your husband's best friend. Go to your husband with everything. Every joy, hurt, story...everything.
I still have more to say and will be back soon with Part 2. Until next time...have a great day!

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