Monday, May 11, 2015

I am a member...are you?

This afternoon was my perfect kind of evening. I felt accomplished; my house was clean so I planned to spend the evening doing what I loved: reading. I fixed a mug of hot tea and finished a delightful book.

I don't know if you have noticed the new badge on my blog...it's on the top right side. It states that I am a proud member of the Happy Wives Club. Not only have I joined the site, but this is the book I just finished. I couldn't wait to share it with you. I am rating it into one of my all time favorite non-fiction books. It was that good.

Her mission was similar to mine and I think that is why I loved this book so much: Fawn Weaver wanted to prove happy marriages do exist. After becoming disgusted with how the media, television, and Hollywood portrays marriage, Fawn Weaver sets out on a journey to find happy marriages around the world and what makes them happy and successful. It took 12 countries and 6 continents before she was satisfied with her research. She sacrificed time in her own marriage and career to achieve this mission.

I can't express enough how refreshing this book was to read. So many times I felt I knew this author; I felt as if she were talking directly to me. She not only informs you of her findings and what makes each interview special, but I felt like I was traveling with her to each country. She describes in detail what makes each stop unique and what sets their culture apart from ours. The kindness and love from each couple was felt through these pages. I loved learning about each couple and what made them happy.

A few points that stood out to me that she learned was laughter is the key to a happy marriage. She came across several couples to make this statement. It has been the rock to K and I's marriage as well. She states that "laughter has been a universal constant on their lists of keys to a good marriage. A well timed quip can take the edge off of a difficult argument that neither of you want to have. (48)." K makes it his mission during an argument to make me laugh. It has stopped some serious fussing between the two of us. I hate arguing and am very thankful to smile at his goofiness.

One thing I have come to learn in marriage is that it is in need of constant attention. Another couple she interviewed shared a similar concern when they had observed many marriages end in divorce because of the lack of effort. They stated that "People think that once you get married, it's all done; you don't have to do anything. No! Love isn't like that. Love is a daily problem; you have to look for daily solutions.(73)" They weren't saying that marriage was a problem; they were saying we needed to continue to find things to make it work. Like dating, for example. Just because you are married doesn't mean the dating should stop.

She expressed her concern and fears about having children. That really resonated with me because of my own fears of having children. Reading it from someone else helped me realize I wasn't alone.

I am not going to reveal all of her research and secrets from the couples she interviewed but of her 13 secrets to a happy marriage, I can say K and I have a very happy marriage. There is always room for improvement, but I can honestly say I am a happy wife. And you know why? Because like Fawn stated, happiness is a choice. (246) I choose to be happy and make our marriage happy.

Until next time...have a great day!

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