This post I have been sitting on for awhile because it is very important to me and something that is lost to our society. I know that not everything that works for K and I will work for others, but it is an old concept that has worked. Marriage is the image of God. The wife represents God's sensitive side, while the husband represents the leadership side.
But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of every woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 1Corinthians 11:3 (NLT)
In our marriage, K is our provider. I believe in the traditional role of the husband to be the leader and the head of the house. This is a hard concept and I feel I need to put a bit of a disclaimer...if a woman wants to work, by all means I am all for it. I have a job. However, the husband being the head provider achieves the need wives have for security. Before K and I bought our house, he made sure that his income alone could cover the bills. My income is extra and a blessing. I firmly believe that a marriage is teamwork and a partnership and the husband being the "leader" does not make him better and does not give him permission to be controlling. We as wives have just as much say as he does. But, God does instruct us to submit to our husbands and support him when he makes a decision. It's hard and because of our nature we have a tendency to want to fight and think we are right and it should be done our way. Wives hear me on this...make your voice heard but trust your husband and support him in his decisions for our families. It will save you lots of arguments.
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the Church." Ephesians 5:21-23
If you are blessed like I am that your husband is able to be the provider (I know different situations arise to prevent this like sickness, surgeries, debt, choices etc if you do work full time I am definitely not saying I am better or your way of living is wrong) there should be some shouldering of our responsibilities as wives. For 4 wonderful years, I was able to stay home; however, with the understanding that I took on the role of everything in our house. I kept the house clean, did the laundry, grocery shopping, made sure K had supper when he got home, the works. He didn't have to worry about anything. Not because he expected me to or I had to...but because I appreciate him getting up every morning and making sure we are safe, secure, and provided for. I believe he shouldn't have to come home and worry about those things especially if I am home! This is something we also decided together.
Now that I am working, I still handle a lot of these things because I work part time, but if I am busy and swamped with kid projects or responsibilities, I am not afraid to ask him to shoulder some of the weight. That is why we are a team. If I cook, he cleans the kitchen. If I do the laundry, he helps fold, pick it up, and put the sheets back on the bed. Lean on each other when you have a lot of worries.
I know this post is a harder one to swallow. I am a traditionalist and it's harder in our society to have this belief. But I also think there is something to say that so many marriages fail because of lack of biblical principles, teamwork, and submission.